English subtitles (by John Haguewood) English dub (adapted by Patrick Seitz) Commentary
CEO: Congratulations on joining the company. Today, you will all take your first momentous step as new members of society and as members of this company... Looking out at all you new hires, it pleases me to see a room full of young people taking their first steps - not only as members of our corporate family, but of society as a whole.
[As he speaks, the camera zooms in on a chipper young red panda.]
Retsuko (internally): My name is Retsuko. Now that I've found work with this company, my brand new life starts today! New places, new people to meet... There's a bright future ahead of me, filled with hopes and dreams! Oh, hey! I'm Retsuko. This is my very first day of work, and I couldn't be more excited about it! What things I'm gonna learn... the people I'll meet... a childhood of hopes and dreams... have all led to this moment! It's a super minor thing to make note of, but in the subtitled version, her initial greeting bookends the episode (as we get a similar internal monologue near the end). The dubbed version alters the wording and loses this callback.
[As she thinks this, she walks outside in a beautiful spring/summer day, taking in the sights (including her future coworkers). At this point, she starts sprinting ever more enthusiastically.]
Retsuko (internally): Alright! This is my first step as a true member of society! Here goes! From now on, I'm gonna reach for the stars! The sky's the limit! It's kind of minor, but here we see the first real change the dub makes to the script - in lieu of Retsuko expressing her eagerness to enter adult life, she's instead more generically expressing high hopes for the future. For what it's worth, though, the new phrasing definitely fits more with the visuals.
[She leaps up mid-sentence in triumph... then, after a few seconds, drops down and twists her ankle. Her delayed reaction is one of pure rage, the first of many to come.]
[Following the opening titles (including an odd title card noting the previous incident being "the beginning of despair"), we cut to five years later. Retsuko's alarm clock goes off, and she shuts it off with all the enthusiasm you'd expect.]
Retsuko: I don't wanna go to work. Work can bite me. Two things of note here:
1. It took me several replays to figure out what the dub line was - Erica Mendez reads it in a suitably half-awake, slightly growly manner, and the lack of subtitles for the dub specifically exacerbated the issue.
2. This is the first instance of "punching up" - taking a line that, literally translated, is pretty standard, and giving it a metaphorical spice - in the dub's script. This article from Legends of Localization elaborates some more on this; while the examples used there are pretty severely different, Aggretsuko's dub rarely goes anywhere near that far.
[She curls up in her covers and hits her alarm clock again when it begins to ring.]
Retsuko: I'll count to ten. After that, I'll be... a model citizen. Ten more seconds, yeah... that's all I'm asking. The part about being a model citizen is omitted in the dub; while it's pretty minor, it loses the implication that she generally aims to conform with societal expectations (which becomes a major theme of the series).
[She does exactly that (as the camera cuts to increasingly broad shots of local scenery), then gets to preparing for the day.]
Retsuko (alert): Got my wallet! Got my train pass! Got my phone! That's everything! Got my wallet! Got my train pass! Got my phone! I'm three for three!
[Hurrying to the front door, she nearly heads out before realizing:]
Retsuko: No, it wasn't! What am I doing?!
[She hurries back in and pulls off a blanket to retrieve a microphone.]
[After taking the train to work (a miserable experience where she notices a sign advertising new job opportunities), a harried Retsuko prepares to enter her workplace... only to notice something grievous:]
Retsuko (internally): I'm wearing sandals! This can't be happening. I... I'm wearing my crappy sandals! This can't be happening... I'm not gonna lie, her "sandals" look more like Crocs than anything else.
Also, here we see another instance of the dub punching up a little bit.
[After entering the building, she covertly makes her way to an elevator.]
Retsuko (internally): Don't panic. Your work shoes are waiting upstairs. Okay, don't panic. Your work shoes are waiting upstairs. Near-identical lines like these make me suspect that the subtitles were the original translation, while Patrick Seitz used it as a base and altered it as he saw fit for the dub. I know some other anime did something similar (the Legends of Localization article mentions that Crayon Shin-chan's dub, which freely rewrote things to be much more adult, was based on more straightforward translations), but I can't say with any certainty that this is how Aggretsuko was translated.
[Cut to a depiction of Retsuko doing an odd dance with her arms.]
Retsuko (internally): If I see anyone along the way, I'll just do this weird dance to keep them looking up. That should work! If I see anyone before then, I'll just do this weird arm dance and keep their attention off my feet! Yeah, (???) After replaying the line something like seven times, I still cannot figure out what the dub's last part is saying. It sounds like "sneeze a jet", but that's obviously not the intention.
[Retsuko peers at the elevators from behind a pillar]
Retsuko (internally): The elevator lobby... Once that group goes... I'll rush in. Hostiles, 12 'o' clock. As soon as everybody gets on that elevator... it's go time. Here we see some more punching up in the dub - there's a lot of extra little jokes added throughout (as you'll soon see).
[Taking a hesitant step forward, a chipper deer girl suddenly appears.]
Tsunoda: Good morning, Retsuko! Hey there, Retsuko! How are you today? (I swear the color I'm using for Tsunoda's dialogue is different than Retsuko's.)
Retsuko (shocked): Tsu... Tsunoda? Tsu... Tsunoda?! The actual line is barely different, but I kept them separate to illustrate how the dub tends to go for a more emotional tone in these kinds of moments.
[Tsunoda suddenly frowns.]
Tsunoda: What are you doing? What's up with your arms?
[A reverse cut reveals that Retsuko is indeed resorting to her "weird dance" plan.]
Retsuko (cheerful, barely masking her panic): Just dancing! Uh - dancing! Busting a move! Again, the dub's voice acting emphasizes Retsuko's panic much more than the Japanese version. I don't know whether to chalk it up to different voice direction, the actresses themselves, or the fact that I understand the language innately (and there's no denying the subs are comparatively more muted, especially in this scene), but it felt like something I should bring up.
[Beat; Tsunoda stops frowning.]
Tsunoda: Thanks for organizing the party on Friday! Thanks for planning the party on Friday - that was nice of you!
[Retsuko's expression shifts from faux-cheerfulness to blank confusion. As Tsunoda continues speaking, a threatening shadow looms across her face.]
Tsunoda: That stuff is just not my forte, I'm just no good at stuff like that.
[As she speaks, her eyes lower continuously until they arrive at (and scan) Retsuko's sandals.]
Tsunoda: so it was nice of you to do it all for me. It made me think... You're really... I just know that(?) I didn't really help at all, even though I should've. If I ever wanna live up... to your example... I'm still not entirely sure if "know that" is accurate in the dub line - again, after six tries, I still couldn't distinguish what she was saying.
[After a particularly tense pause, Tsunoda looks back up, her expression not having shifted once from its usual cheeriness.]
Tsunoda: a kind and wonderful person! I've got some really big shoes to fill! This punchline appears to be entirely a dub invention; while I can't tell if it's more or less true to the original script, I can safely say that it illustrates Tsunoda's judgmental nature (masked behind a facade of cheerfulness) quite well.
Retsuko (mortified): She totally looked! She noticed them!
[Cut back to Retsuko's sandals.]
Retsuko: Oh, these sandals? Oh, right, what are those doing there?
[Cut back to Retsuko herself, who appears increasingly frantic as she speaks.]
Retsuko: I'm such an idiot. I was in such a rush this morning that I... I guess I put them on by mistake! Could've happened to anyone. Nothing to freak out about! This is probably the best example of the way the English dub treats emotion in a more over-the-top manner. Kaolips (Retsuko's Japanese voice actress) reads this part in a tone not far off from Retsuko's regular, non-frantic voice, while Erica Mendez reads it in full panic mode. In my opinion, the dub fits the actual animation (a series of increasingly tight closeups on Retsuko's increasingly flustered face) much better.
Also, as for the lines themselves, the gist of the scene (Retsuko making excuses for her mistake) is evident in both, but the specifics are different - the subs have her blaming herself, while the dub makes it seem more like she's trying to reassure herself more than anything.
[A wide shot abruptly reveals that Tsunoda is gone. Retsuko turns...]
Retsuko: Huh? What the-?
[...and finds her entering an elevator.]
Tsunoda: Let's talk again sometime! Best of luck with the shoe thing! This is another change that makes it apparent that she noticed Retsuko's sandals (and, by proxy, indicates her rather deceitful character).
Retsuko: Hey, wait up! Y-hey, wait up!
[The doors begin closing...]
Tsunoda: See you later! We'll talk later, okay? I guess they moved the line from earlier here, maybe?
[...and finish doing so before Retsuko can get on (though not before Tsunoda stifles a laugh).]
Retsuko: Hey, now! Aww, c'mon! Seriously? This is a good example of the subtitles being extremely dry - has anyone missing an elevator ever said "Hey, now!" like this?
[Outside the women's changing room, Retsuko takes a moment to rub her forehead.]
Retsuko: There!
[Upon entering, she's immediately accosted by an overly eager hippo coworker.]
Kabae: Retsuko! Yaaay, Retsukoooo! [comments (if any)]
[As Kabae continues talking, Retsuko keeps a stoic face on and covertly moves towards her locker.]
Kabae: Hey, did you hear the rumor? Don't tell anyone... So-and-so did such-and-such. This did that, and it was, like, whoa! And it was like, bam! Isn't that amazing? Isn't it? So, did you hear about what happened with the one actress over the weekend? You know, the same one I was telling you about last week - like(?) I still need to catch you up on! Unless you've been keeping tabs on her yourself - that's cool, too! Well, have you? I'm not completely sure if the dub transcription is accurate - Kabae talks like a run-on sentence in the English version, so trying to distinguish every single word is more difficult than it initially seems.
At any rate, it's noticeable that her gossip shifts from generic to celebrity-focused in particular - I'm not completely knowledgeable on the subject, but I feel like celebrity gossip is more prevalent in the West than in Japan (what with all the checkout line tabloids and all). It's an interesting bit of possible cultural translation.
[After a beat, Kabae brings out her smartphone.]
Kabae: Anyway, look at my nephew! Wanna see a cute picture of my nephew? It's not evident in text alone, but I'm fairly sure that lines that are generally similar but longer in the dub stem from the need to keep the lip sync accurate - the dub line fits her lip flaps perfectly.
Retsuko: Wow... Very cute... Yeah... that's a picture of your nephew, alright! Immediately after, we get another seemingly lip sync-guided change.
Kabae: Are you talking about the "bam"? Isn't he just adoooorable, Retsuko? Another note about the lip sync - the extended "dooo" syllable appears to stem from the animation, as Kabae opens her mouth real wide for a second or two mid-sentence. (This might be why the line was entirely rewritten compared to the subs.)
Retsuko: No, your nephew. Don't make me say it. (?) Retsuko sounds way more beleaguered in the dub - I'm still not 100% sure if I have the line right.
Kabae: Isn't he? Thank you! I knew you would agree with me! Thank you so muuuuuch!
[Another woman enters the room.]
Woman: Good morning. Good morning, ladies.
Kabae: Morning! Hey, did you hear the rumor? Don't tell anyone, but... Right back at 'cha! I hope you're ready for some juicy celebrity gossip, because I'm a never-ending supply! (?) Okay, so [inaudible] Not entirely sure about the last word of the dub's line.
[With Kabae occupied, Retsuko lets her exasperation show freely.]
Fenneko: Morning, Retsuko. Retsuko, what's up?
Retsuko: Oh, hi, Fenneko. It's morning and I'm already tired. I just ran into Tsunoda downstairs. Oh, hey, Fenneko. I'm a zombie today. Meanwhile, Tsunoda's all perky and junk. Some more general rewrites/punching up a bit.
Fenneko: Tsunoda... I hate that girl. Is she?... Man, I hate that girl.
Retsuko: Really?
[internally] I'm not fond of her, either.
[internally] Yeah, me too.
[comments (if any)]
[Fenneko pulls out her smartphone.]
Fenneko: I'm following her online, though. I follow Tsunoda on social media looking for ammunition. A small change, but the dub line implies that Fenneko's motive for digging through Tsunoda's social media profile is to find something to use against her in some fashion (or perhaps just covert information gathering). You might assume this from the subs, too, given how in both she manages to make conclusions about her personal life through her analysis, but it's more obvious in the dub.
[Cut to Tsunoda's profile on "Social Net".]
Fenneko: Based on my analysis, there's a pattern here. Based on my analysis... there's a pattern.
Retsuko: A pattern?
Fenneko: She uploads photos as if she's an idol. Take a look. She uploads a ton of photos, but there's a method to the madness. Take a look. The dub removes the mention of idols (as in the singer/celebrity combination that's a staple of Japanese culture) - while it's understandable that they'd remove something Western audiences might not get, it is a little odd given how the setting remains squarely in Japan (and every character clearly has a Japanese name). Furthermore, the idol comparison ties into Tsunoda's cutesy facade and implies that she keeps it up online as well - all of which is missing in the dub.
[As Fenneko explains the pattern, the viewer's shown examples of Tsunoda's photos as Fenneko brings them up]
Fenneko: Selfie, dessert, latte art. Selfie, dessert, latte art.
[Cut back to Fenneko scrolling.]
Fenneko: Selfie, dessert. Selfie, dessert.
[Cut back to the photos.]
Fenneko: Selfie, selfie, her bare thighs. Selfie, selfie, a thigh pic.
[Cut back to Fenneko, explaining in complete seriousness as Retsuko appears somewhere between concerned, confused, and exasperated.]
Fenneko: She posts a thigh pic once every 13 days, without fail. I'll say it again. Tsunoda posts a thigh pic to her social media every 13 days on the dot. Exhibit A:
[Cut back to the photos once again.]
Fenneko: Selfie, dessert, latte art. Selfie-- Selfie, dessert, latte art. Selfie, desser-
[As Retsuko interrupts, there's an equally abrupt cut back to Fenneko and Retsuko.]
Retsuko: Yeah, I get it. Yup, got it!
[Cut back to the thigh pic.]
Fenneko: It's not the drink she's showing off here. It's her thighs. You see? She tries to play it cool - "look at this diamond(?) tea I'm having!" - but you know what's up. Thigh pic. It sounds more like she's saying "Thai-mond" tea in the dub, but that's clearly not it.
[Retsuko, who isn't even looking at her at this point, responds with a vaguely agreeing noise. Fenneko slides next to her during her next line.]
Fenneko (increasingly severe): She posted a picture of her legs again on Saturday - three days earlier than her usual pattern. She must have found a man she wanted to show this to. I highly suspect it was at Friday's office party. Then, she posts another thigh pic on Saturday night. This is three days earlier than usual. I think she's putting them on display to try and catch some guy. It makes me wonder about the office party this Friday. This might just be me, but "this Friday" seems to imply that the office party is upcoming, instead of shortly past (as the subs, and every other reference to it in this episode, indicate).
[Fade to black as Fenneko finishes, followed by an abrupt cut to:]
Tsunoda: Oh, good morning, Fenneko! Good morning, Fenneko, how's your day been so far? In this case, I can definitely say that the subtitles are more accurate here. Tsunoda's Japanese line is "Fenneko-senpai, ohayou gozaima~su," which literally means "Good morning, Fenneko" (with the honorific indicating that she views Fenneko as an upperclassman - or at least pretends to). The dub adds on a little more.
Fenneko (insincerely chipper): Good morning. Typical Monday, right? Same with this line - in Japanese, Fenneko's saying "ohayou" (an abbreviated form of "ohayou gozaimasu", which also means "good morning") back.
It'd be easy for me to see this and conclude that the subs are the more accurate translation, but these are just two lines out of several dozen in this episode alone. Furthermore, they're so simple that even I could translate them without formal knowledge of Japanese - it'd be easy to get these right, but more complicated sentences might be wrong. I can safely conclude that the dub is deliberately rewriting things, though.
[A wider shot shows Retsuko viewing the two talking from a distance.]
Fenneko: Hey, did you get your nails done?
Tsunoda: Oh, that's right! Yeah! I tried a new look! At this point, the dub starts diverging ever-so slightly from the subs - not enough to be interesting, but enough that it deserves at least a cursory mention.
[A reverse cut shows Retsuko looking rather cross and shortly leaving.]
Tsunoda: I went to a new place. My friend recommended this salon! Same here (with a slightly more specific explanation for Tsunoda's nails).
Fenneko: Wow. They look really good. Cool. Let me get the name of the place from you. And here it's almost completely different.
[Transition to Retsuko's work station; she arrives with the same displeased expression, which shifts to an odd irritated grin during her next few lines.]
Retsuko (internally): Sure, OK, fine. The office is wearing me down already, but I went through this plenty of times in college. OK, here we go. Sure, I'm tired this morning, but I was tired all the way through college. It's nothing I can't handle.
[Smiling despite clearly not being happy, the mood grows palpably more intense during her next few lines as Ton arrives.]
Retsuko (internally): This is the real battlefield. My accounting department office! A place where monsters known as bosses exist. And ruling at the top of the monsters is the big boss, Director Ton! The break room is easy. The accounting department's the real battle here. It's the place where monsters torment us without mercy. Including the most monstrous beast of all: the evil... known as Mr. Ton! The dub doesn't explicitly get across that the bosses are the monsters here (and that Ton rules over all of them), though it's not too hard to assume from the context. Also, Director Ton loses his job title in favor of the more natural (if less specific) "Mr."
[Ton arrives at his desk in a sequence initially framed something like the kitchen scene from Jurassic Park; swiping a finger across it, he finds it is dusty.]
Ton: My desk is dirty. My vase hasn't got any flowers in it! And the humidifier's empty! My desk is a pigsty! My vase doesn't have any freakin' flowers and the humidifier's empty! The "pigsty" pun was absolutely added into the dub by Seitz (not that I can blame him).
Komiya (abruptly popping in): Would you like me to refill the humidifier, sir? We can't have your throat getting irritated, can we? I'd be more than happy to get water for the humidifier, sir! We can't have your throat getting irritated, now, can we? Again, things like this where entire sentences are near-identical between the two translations are what spurred my hypothesis that the subs are the literal translation that the dub uses as a base.
Ton (increasingly irritated): It's 8:57 now. Work starts in three minutes. Whose turn was it today? It's 8:57 now, Komiya. The work day starts in three minutes! I wanna know who dropped the ball!
Komiya (sweating): It was... let's see... I believe the answer to your vexation is...
[Cut to Retsuko at her station.]
Fenneko (off-screen): Retsuko.
Retsuko: Huh?
Fenneko (slightly worried): Isn't it your turn on Mondays? I'm pretty sure that Mondays are your turn.
[After a full three seconds of silence, Retsuko stands up completely mortified.]
Retsuko: Sorry, sir! I'll do it right now! I'm sorry, sir! I'll do it right now!
Ton: You've got two minutes and 30 seconds! You've got two and a half minutes! This is a simple, minute example of the subs appearing to be a more literal translation - "two and a half minutes" sounds far more natural in conversation than "two minutes and 30 seconds".
[Fade to black. When we return, the humidifier is on and the vase contains a flower.]
Retsuko: I'm all done. And time to spare!
[During the ensuing brief pause, Ton makes a quiet grunt.]
Retsuko: Well, I'll get back to work now. I guess... guess that's it. I'll [get?] started(?) on my work. The dub line's a bit confusing - I'm pretty sure she's only saying "started", but it doesn't make sense grammatically.
[She bows. After another second or two:]
Ton: Tea... In the Japanese version, this sounds less like a word and more like some kind of animal-like moan (which fits the context, I suppose).
Retsuko: Huh?
Ton: Tea!
Retsuko (tilting her head in confusion): What? Say what?
Ton: Get me... some tea. That's part of your job, too. For the women, that is! I'm gonna need... some hot tea. That's part of your job... 'cause it's women's work!
[Unsurprisingly, this remark appears to set Retsuko off; however, the set-up to her rage mode turns out to be a fake-out, and she delivers his tea demurely.]
Retsuko: Here you are. If you'll excuse me... Enjoy. If you'll excuse me...
[As she walks away, Ton takes a sip and immediately spits it out in disgust.]
Ton: This is basically hot water. There's no tea in this tea! This is a good example of the dub punching up the script, making for a more memorable line.
Komiya: Retsuko, remake it this instant! Do it again! That was sub-par!
[Retsuko stops walking, now smirking with rage.]
Ton: Nah, let her go. It's cute, isn't it? Incompetent women might be annoying, but they're better than the competent ones, right? Nah, let her go. It's cute, ain't it? Incompetent women are such a pain in the ass, but they're better than the competent ones, am I right? Worth noting is that, in the English version, Ton's voice actor says that last part in an "amirite, fellas??" kind of tone (for lack of a better descriptor).
[Ton starts laughing; after a moment, Komiya joins in. This remark (which deeply shocks Kabae and even Fenneko) proves to be the last straw for Retsuko, whose barely-contained rage finally boils over in death metal form:]
Retsuko: Pushing us around when we can't fight back
Neanderthal knuckle-dragging chauvinist pig!
Looking at your face just makes me sick
How can any person be such a dick?!
Shitty boss!
Shitty boss!
I was genuinely surprised to learn that the lyrics are identical across both versions. (Worth noting is that Patrick Seitz is also credited with the lyrics in the English dub credits; I have no clue if Haguewood had any involvement in translating them.)
[As the song concludes, the camera zooms out to reveal that she's been singing in the bathroom the whole time, mic in hand.]
Retsuko: After I count to ten, I'll be a mild-mannered employee. I'll count to ten... and I'll be ready to go back out there. Like last time, the notion that Retsuko is conforming to expectations (in this case, being a mild-mannered employee, something which is remarked upon in the very next scene) gets written out of the dub.
[Cross-fade to later in the day; Retsuko is working on her laptop.]
Fenneko (off-screen): I'm impressed, Retsuko. That's pretty impressive.
Retsuko: Huh?
Fenneko: I would have flipped my lid on Director Ton back there. If he'd spoken to me like that, I'd have told him where he could stick that tea. Yet another example of punching up in the dub.
Retsuko (slightly embarrassed): Yeah, but it was partly my fault for forgetting. Yeahhh... but I did forget to cup(?) his desk, right? Once again, I'm not sure if my transcription of the dub's line is accurate. I thought it meant "pick up" at first, but there's no first syllable (just what sounds like "cup").
Fenneko: What are you saying? Prettying up his workspace isn't part of our job. Can't you get fired for that kind of power harassment? Don't be a wuss. Cleaning up that mouth-breather's workspace is not in our job description. Can't he get busted for asking us to do that?
Haida (off-screen): "My sincerest apologies. "I am so sorry about that.
[Cut to Haida, who's in the middle of entering the scene.]
Haida: My style of leadership was too forceful." He could get away with it and wouldn't even be demoted. You'd be putting more at stake by reporting it. It's not that easy. I never meant to make Retsuko feel that way." He'd feed 'em some BS like that and wouldn't even get a slap on the wrist. You'd be putting more at stake by reporting it. I don't envy you girls one bit. I say "punching up" a lot when discussing the dub's changes, but I should elaborate that sometimes it ties into rewriting a literal translation into something that sounds much more natural when spoken out loud. Compare these two, for example - it's far easier to picture someone saying the latter than the former, right?
Also, it's interesting to see a line that's the exact same between both versions followed by a line that instead diverges wildly.
Fenneko: Thanks for the Internet wisdom. Call us "girls" again, I dare you. I think this is the first line that is not even remotely similar between the two versions. (A shame, since in my opinion the sub's line is the best joke in the entire episode.)
Haida (briefly appearing defeated): OK, sure. But isn't work unreasonable to begin with? Kissing up to the bosses just a bit will... "Women". That's what I meant. But if you think about it, work's no walk in the park for guys, either! It can be tough for those of us who refuse to kiss up. I do wonder why exactly this conversation differs so heavily between the two translations. The dub version emphasizes the gender discrimination in the office (something that becomes a major plot point later in the season), while the subs more generally address the work environment as a whole.
Fenneko: Haida, you kiss up a lot. You kiss up all damn day.
Haida (caught off-guard): What? It's just standard office politics. Wha--? It's not my fault the bosses like me! A note on the voice acting - like Retsuko, Haida's Japanese voice actor is rather monotone throughout (including parts where he's supposed to be caught off-guard like this), while his English voice actor is much more emotive. Also, again, the line's nuances get altered in a manner that's not particularly interesting to explain.
[Retsuko's gaze drifts to Ton, chuckling with one of his clubs, and Tsunoda, who's following him.]
Tsunoda: Oh, amazing! I just love golf! Can I go with you next time? Oh, wow, Mr. Ton! Isn't golf just the greatest thing ever? Seriously! Tsunoda's request is removed in the dub.
[Cut back to Retsuko, Haida, and Fenneko, watching disdainfully.]
Ton (off-screen): Sure, I don't see why not! Yeah! Why don't you join me sometime? Instead, Ton is the one who makes this offer.
Tsunoda (off-screen): Really? I would love to! Really? But how would I keep up with such a pro? Some more easily perceptible alterations in the dub.
[Cut back to Tsunoda and Ton; the latter starts practicing his swing.]
Ton: [in time with his swings] Pork noodles! Extra pork! Don't worry! I gotcha! I found the subs' line so odd that I examined the original Japanese line and did some amateur translation work myself.
In the original version, Ton's line is "チャーシュー麺! チャーシュー大盛り!" ("Chāshū men! Chāshū ōmori!").
"チャーシュー"/"chāshū" is a method of preparing pork that stems from the Cantonese practice of "char siu".
"麺"/"men" means "noodles", and "大盛り"/"ōmori" refers to a large serving of food. Thus, the subs translate the line accurately (albeit more generically, as Western audiences will likely be unfamiliar with this practice), while the dub completely rewrites it.
(Also, I still have no idea why he's even saying this in the first place.)
[Cut back to the other three employees.]
Tsunoda (off-screen): Wow, you're just like a pro! What follow-through! It's like you were born to hold that club, Mr. Ton! [It's like] it's a part of you! I can't wait to see what you do on the actual range! In this case, I actually think the dub might be more accurate, at least in form. In both Japanese and English, Tsunoda keeps talking until the scene ends, even as the main trio start talking; the subs instead use a single sentence.
Fenneko (getting up from her seat): I'm gonna get a drink. I need something to drink.
Retsuko (following suit): Me too.
Haida (following suit): Me three. Uh-huh.
[Fade to black as they leave. The next scene introduces Washimi and Gori, whose confident appearance (accompanied by equally confident music) manages to impress the main trio without even trying.]
Fenneko: Wow... Those two really have their stuff together. Damn... Now those are two women who definitely have their act together.
Retsuko: Yeah. They're cool. [sigh] Look at 'em!
Haida: Marketing Director Gori and the president's secretary, Miss Washimi. They both look real talented. Gori's a bigwig from marketing, and Washimi's the president's secretary! They got this place all figured out. The specifics of Gori's position are written out of the dub.
Fenneko: I heard that even the president is no match for Washimi. Washimi doesn't take crap from anybody, even the big boss!
Haida: The type of woman Director Ton hates. Women like that are Ton's worst nightmare!
[As the two turn and walk out of sight, they abrupt stop (along with the music).]
Gori: Hey, Washimi, to tell you the truth, walking this way hurts my back. Not gonna lie... our "baddest bitch in the room" walk is murder on my back! Fun fact: seeing the dub quote elsewhere online was part of what made me realize how different the dub could be, and thus part of the reason I started this website.
Washimi: Gori... We must not show any signs of weakness at the office. Be strong. We can't show any weakness at work.
[They resume walking (also along with the music).]
Washimi: I know a good chiropractor. I'll send you to my chiropractor.
[Transition to the next scene, back in the office.]
Tsunoda: Director Ton, I have a bit of a favor to ask... Could you look over this paperwork? Mr. Ton? I'm so sorry to bother you. I think these are right, but I just don't knooow!
Ton (practicing his swing): Huh? Oh, yeah. Sure, sure. Hmmm? I can look 'em over for ya if you like. Ton seems a bit less distracted in the dub (though he's still practicing his golf swing).
Tsunoda (cloying): Sorry I couldn't get this in on time. I'm sorry for giving them to you right before they're due.
Ton: Don't sweat it. I'll make sure it gets done. Don't worry your pretty little head. I'm gonna go over your numbers with a fine-toothed comb!
[Cut to the cafeteria, where the main trio are on break.]
Haida: Well, should we head back? Well, back to the old cell block?
Retsuko: Yeah, let's go. Why not?
[Heading back, Retsuko is confronted by Ton and a massive stack of paperwork.]
Ton (menacing): You don't look busy. Deal with these. Have fun on your break? I need you to look over these.
[He drops it into Retsuko's hands and leaves. She's unsurprisingly shocked.]
Ton: Thanks, missy! And I need 'em back today! Ton's parting shot changes from chauvinistic to demanding.
[Cut back to Retsuko, now flanked by Fenneko and Haida.]
Haida: Want me to help? You want some help?
Retsuko: It's fine. This is fine.
[This Stepford wife-esque attitude visibly unnerves Haida a bit.]
Fenneko: I'm impressed, Retsuko. Your chill game is something to behold. Part of me was wondering if the dub was alluding to that famous Gunshow comic in the last line, but I thought it could easily be coincidental - and then it's followed by this line with a more obvious reference to contemporary Internet parlance.
[Cut to later in the day - specifically, around 7 or 8 PM (as a shot of the office clock helpfully indicates).]
Kabae (off-screen): Oh, my goodness! Oh my goooosh!
[A harried Retsuko rapidly types as Kabae speaks.]
Kabae: You're not going home yet? Poor you! So, working hard or... hardly working? The subs and dub diverge yet again. I have a feeling that Seitz was trying to express Kabae's general character (annoying, gossipy coworker) to English-speaking audiences by working in traits more specific to Western characters of that type (a obsession with celebrities and a penchant for dropping worn-out turns of phrase).
[Retsuko offers a half-chuckle in response.]
Kabae: Well, I have to go and pick up my kid from daycare, so bye-bye! Well, I'd love to stay and chew the fat, but I have to go pick up my kid from daycare. Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... In the dub, she holds that last word until the scene transition (about five or six seconds all told, overlapping with Retsuko's line). The original Japanese version lacks this quirk.
Retsuko: See you tomorrow. I'll see you tomorrow.
[Cut to late at night - close to 10 or even 11 PM. Retsuko's the only one in the (now dark) office, and she stops working for a bit:]
Retsuko: Maybe I'll get something to drink. I'm gonna get some tea.
[In the tea room, she starts heating the kettle, staring at the blue flames as it starts whistling.]
Retsuko (internally): My name is Retsuko. Twenty-five years old and single. A Scorpio, blood-type A. My name... is Retsuko. Twenty-five, single, Scorpio, blood-type A.
[Cut to Retsuko downtown, finally done with work. As she "talks", she approaches a karaoke place as the familiar death metal begins to play.]
Retsuko (internally): There are probably tons of office girls like me out there. But I have a secret that no one can know about. There are thousands of girls working in offices just like me. But this girl has a secret up her sleeve... and a mic in her purse. The part about the "microphone in [her] purse" is original to the dub.
[She enters the facility, and a baboon greets her.]
Baboon: Welcome. For one? Welcome back, miss. Will it be the usual? The dub line indicates that Retsuko is a frequent visitor to the karaoke place, while the subs don't carry this nuance.
[A tracking shot quickly zooms into her room as she prepares to sing:]
Retsuko: End of the world
Karaoke all alone
Heal the pain from my office job
Wake up in the morning
And do it all again
Selling my soul
'Cause I'm a corporate slave
Choke on my rage!
Choke on my rage!
I should mention that the last line repeats a couple more times than I've written here (getting interrupted) - it's only really obvious in the English dub, at least to a native English speaker.
[Her singing is interrupted by a llama worker with a platter of food and drink.]
Llama: Here's the stuff you ordered. I'm just droppin' off your food.
[She stares at him - not in her rage-induced facepaint-esque mode, but with a strangely sullen yet blank look.]
Retsuko (into her mic): I didn't order anything. Leave it on the table. And we end on a line that's completely different between the two translations.